Unmedicated

How quickly I forgot what life was like

I've been on adhd meds since September. As I mentioned before, being on them has let me see aspects of my personality that I had only now been given space to see. Writing from a vantage point more than two months in, I found it a little bit difficult to explain how different things were, mostly because I had gotten used to how things are now.

Today I was unmedicated. A few things (including Thanksgiving-related travel) resulted in me running out of my adhd meds. It didn't worry me too much - I've come across many people who talk about taking a break from their meds on weekends. How bad could it be?

It wasn't great for a few reasons, but as much as anything it reminded me of what life had been like, on a daily basis, before I was medicated. It wasn't just being more distracted. It wasn't just the sense of being overwhelmed by simple problems. It was more than that.

Every bit of it was totally familiar, even though it felt dialed up to 11. Probably because I wasn't used to it any more. How I ever got anything done before is a mystery to me.